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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive guide to the words gen Z is using to discuss love, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most enduring memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {